1. animal - pig
2. verb- pounded
3. famous person - Bob Sagat
4. verb -
make love 
5. adjective - hard
6. verb - face rock
7. noun - squid
8. adjective - wasted
9. adverb - quickly
10. body part - paws
11. verb - thrust
12. verb - lick
13. animal - prairie dog
14. object - spoon
15. plural object - condoms
16. adjective - slobbering
17. famous person - Bob Sagat
18. verb - play
19. adverb - smoothly
20. number - 69
21. liquid/fluid - vanilla coke
22. adjective - sexy
Here you go:
It was a long day for Alphonse. He decided to look for a new job because he was tired of fighting. Alphonse looked in a newspaper to browse over the Help-Wanted section. He was interrupted by a telephone call from his good friend, Shiven.
“Hey Alphonse, what’s up?”
“Not much, I’m looking for a new job.” Alphonse replied.
“What?! You mean you don’t want to fight with me anymore?!” Shiven sounded as if he was going to sob.
“I’m tired of battle, Shiven. I want to become a gardener, or even better, a professional landscaper.”
“But think about all those memories we shared! What about the time when we stopped a
pig from
pounding an entire defenseless village?”
“That was memorable, but the village wasn’t entirely defenseless.
Bob Sagat was there to train the militia. He taught them how to
make love, which truly helped hold off the upcoming
hard invasions.”
“You are missing the point!” Shiven interjected. “You and I were like brothers then! We had never been so close!
Face rocking during the night, telling
squid-jokes around the campfire... Oh, how
wasted we were during those jovial days! I can still remember them
quickly! What about our adventures together? “
“Times have changed, Shiven. I can’t travel with you anymore on adventures. Especially after severely injuring my
paws, it’s just not feasible anymore. It’s even worse since you started to play pranks on me by
thrusting my
paws while I was sleeping.” Alphonse retorted.
“I won’t do that anymore. I promise!” Shiven was desperate.
“Well, Shiven, I have to go. And no matter what you say, it is time for me to move on in life.” Alphonse could here Shiven crying when he hung up the phone.
Alphonse needed a break from his time-consuming job hunt. He headed down to the local bar, called “The
Licking Prairie Dog". However, he happened to run into someone he didn’t like. He wanted to leave, but it was too late.
“HI ALPHONSE, DARLING!” Shit, it was Eleanor. “Alphonse, why do you keep running away from me? You dumped me in a
spoon when I was drunk two nights ago. I woke up with a bad headache. Stop leaving me behind. You know we were meant to be together. I bought you a box of
condoms for you! I know they are your favorite!”
Alphonse was speechless. However, today didn’t seem to be so bad after all. In the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the
slobbering Bob Sagat, a famous mercenary. “Uhh, yeah… Hey, why don’t you go outside and
play in the snow while I buy us some drinks.”
“Anything you want, darling!”
Alphonse quickly ran over to
Bob Sagat. Since Alphonse is famous,
Sagat quickly recognized him and was eager to do business with him. A conspiracy began while Eleanor was busy
smoothly playing outside in the snow.
Meanwhile, Shiven was depressed. To cheer himself up he bought
69 bottles of
Vanilla Coke to inebriate himself on. “I hate Alphonse! I hate him!” he would shout to himself. Would this be the end of a
sexy friendship?
