Post by Ghosty on Nov 26, 2003 21:14:23 GMT -5
Ok this thread is sortof old, but I wanted to bring it up again because...
#1: To make the people who promised pictures post them
#2: To share more jokes ;D
Ok, so you've all probably heard of the "2 cow" jokes right?
Here's some of them if you haven't:
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor, who has one. The Government comes and takes the other one away, and gives it to your neighbor. You feel happy knowing that you have helped someone.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk down the drain.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, you employ the town under your company and the economy grows. You sell the cows to retire on the income and pride yourself on earning your money.
DEMOCRACY:
You have 2 cows. A vote is held and the cows win.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. Both are mad. You try to sell them around the world.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. The government comes and takes away however many cows you really had.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them, and not letting others steal them.
CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You worship them.
LMFAO, here's a good link to a long one:
www.thecapitol.net/Recommended/twocows.htm
If you wanna find more just search for "you have 2 cows" or something...
EDIT: If your wondering where all these "modifies" are coming from, I'm just updating the list/correcting it so that it has a better version. I strongly suggest you look it up, there's so many on the internet...
#1: To make the people who promised pictures post them
#2: To share more jokes ;D
Ok, so you've all probably heard of the "2 cow" jokes right?
Here's some of them if you haven't:
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor, who has one. The Government comes and takes the other one away, and gives it to your neighbor. You feel happy knowing that you have helped someone.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk down the drain.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, you employ the town under your company and the economy grows. You sell the cows to retire on the income and pride yourself on earning your money.
DEMOCRACY:
You have 2 cows. A vote is held and the cows win.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. Both are mad. You try to sell them around the world.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. The government comes and takes away however many cows you really had.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them, and not letting others steal them.
CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows. You worship them.
LMFAO, here's a good link to a long one:
www.thecapitol.net/Recommended/twocows.htm
If you wanna find more just search for "you have 2 cows" or something...
EDIT: If your wondering where all these "modifies" are coming from, I'm just updating the list/correcting it so that it has a better version. I strongly suggest you look it up, there's so many on the internet...