TSE Story book

[Sokar468]

Here they are, in order of appearance. Vote for your favorite! My favorite is the third one. Remember that you guys helped me write these!

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1 - EINS
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Alphonse and Shiven, leaders of the Team Self-Esteem, took a journey on a dont'chaknowing day. The land was controversial and the sky was arousing, making it a perfect day for searching for the Sacred Shield of Bob Saget. This Shield was legendary due to its ability to thrust lemons in under 24 and a half seconds. No weapon has been able to do this before. Alphonse had read about it in Hell, Michigan many years ago, making him FURIOUS about the journey. Shiven quickly joined Alphonse in his search, since Shiven had masterbated Alphonse for several years, so they trusted each other.

The Sacred Shield of Bob Saget was held at Chocobo and Moogle Island, which was guarded by a rabid chicken. This creature had the special powers of farting people into Agatha Christie books. Alphonse and Shiven were warned about this supercalifragilisticespialadousious animal by Batman, although the two TSE journeymen were skeptical at first.

Armed with their favorite weapons, a mystic leather whip and a f**ked-up katana, Alphonse and Shiven advanced towards Chocobo and Moogle Island. The huge chicken jumped out at them, farting menacingly. Alphonse, frightened, shouted, “Holy Second Amendment!”. Shiven was so scared that he started flapping. The deadly fight was soon to begin, and Batman was right all along...

[Sokar468]

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2 - ZWEI
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The fight raged on for quite some time. Alphonse was truly wounded when the chicken licked him from behind. Shiven, gripping his katana grudgingly, screamed “Pieces of Crap!” as he charged the chicken. However, Shiven tripped on a monkey that was lying in the middle of the battlefield. He fell and broke his bulbourethral glands. Crying excitedly in pain, Alphonse attempted to revive his comrade by rubbing him, but the squishy chicken came soaring by.

Just when their hope ran out, George W. Bush came from Madagascar to rescue the distressed and microscopic journeymen. The person introduced himself to Alphonse and Shiven and shouted: “Why do you screw everything up?!”. With a quick attack with his mighty Teletubby, George W. Bush chopped the chicken’s head off by ramming it fiercely. However, the rabid chicken was not dead yet. George W. Bush tried using a different weapon: his double-stuffed darkness. In a fury, he slashed with the darkness several times—77 to be exact--at the chicken. But the chicken farted, and George W. Bush turned into an Agatha Christie book. Alphonse and Shiven decided to run away.

Back at Formido Castle, Rictor was waiting. He hadn’t urinated Alphonse and Shiven in so long, and he wondered where the two were. Sitting in his shit-brown throne, Rictor began to look over his Keebler Elves. Suddenly, Alphonse and Shiven barged into the Great Hall, bloody and jovial. Rictor asked: “Interplanet Janet!!! Where is the Sacred Shield of Bob Saget?!” Alphonse and Shiven were speechless. Frightened, they began touching evilly. Rictor was confused. But then, a huge knocking sound was at the Castle Gates. It was the chicken, but it had transformed into a mighty Pelvic Dragon!!!

[Sokar468]

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3 - DREI
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Alphonse was invited to a party. This party was held at Zynxville and it was being held in honor of Alphonse after he vibrated the rabid chicken. At last, Lodis could live in peace, without moldy green animals threatening the country.

Upon arrival, Alphonse was greeted with utter gayness by his comrade, Shiven. Out of joy and relief, Shiven farted Alphonse, smiling away. Music was being played and people danced joyfully. Alphonse began dancing alone, until Eleanor approached him.

“Damn!! What are you doing here?!” shouted Alphonse.

“Alphonse! Why did you abandon me? Why did you sedate me and danced my body into the fortress dumpster? Now I smell like the 1337Bot!”

“You are so annoying! You always follow me into battle! Oh yes, that one time when I was fighting the gummy Ham-Ham, and YOU, in all your wisdom, decided to distract my soldiers by humping! You cost my comrades their lives!” Alphonse was furious.

“But you were in danger! The Ham-Ham was about to straddle you and I got scared!”

“And you thought humping would help?!”

“Yes…”

Out of frustration, Alphonse squeezed Eleanor. She began crying spastically and started piercing the ground with her fists.

“Shit! Look at all the attention you are drawing to yourself!” Alphonse walked away from the scene.

Someone was very upset that Eleanor’s feelings would be hurt. As Alphonse passed the door, the decaying Father Hamen ambushed him and punched him in the dong. Shiven, who’s loyalty to Alphonse was naughty, jumped in to help him. A nasty battle broke out…