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Post by Springheel Jack on Oct 8, 2003 22:05:25 GMT -5
I've got a knee-slapper! 2 girls walked into a building. Don't you think one of em woulda seen it? LOL Here's an actual joke. A guy walked into a bar with a crocodile. He stands on top of the counter and says "Who will give me 50 bucks for sticking my balls in this crocs mouth?" A bunch of guys said they would. He undoes his belt and sticks his manhood in the mouth of the croc. It snaps down hard. He hits it on the head with a beer bottle. It opened it's mouth and, magically, the guy was ok. He said "I'll give someone 100 bucks if they can do that!" A blonde stepped up and said "I will, but only if you promise not to hit me on the head with a bottle."
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 8, 2003 22:17:33 GMT -5
u guys r scaring me.....their funny..lmao..i got to admit that ;D....i dont know any good jokes....
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Post by Gustave on Oct 9, 2003 14:08:16 GMT -5
One of my favorite jokes:
Ethel and Edna were at their favorite coffee house. They had been going there every sunday for the past 64 years. They ordered their favorites, and began to chat. "What's that you got in your ear, Ethel?" "Huh?" "Ethel, you've got a suppository in your ear!" "A what?" "A suppository!" "A suppository?" "Yes, Ethel! A Suppository!" "Hmm. Oh well. At least it explains where my hearing aid went."
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 9, 2003 22:07:59 GMT -5
this is joke....sorta..just read: My First Time The sky was dark The moon was high All alone Just her and I Her hair so soft Her eyes so blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best To place my hand On her breasts I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart And when she did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came At last it's finished It's all over now My first time Milking a cow! hehehe! You sicko.....wat u think?
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Post by Ghosty on Oct 9, 2003 22:30:11 GMT -5
this is joke....sorta..just read: My First Time The sky was dark The moon was high All alone Just her and I Her hair so soft Her eyes so blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best To place my hand On her breasts I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart And when she did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came At last it's finished It's all over now My first time Milking a cow! hehehe! You sicko.....wat u think? who'd be milking a cow in the middle of the night anyhow i think thats just wierd... but funny still here's a joke (i ripped off of the internet): Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?" So the first man replies: "Well, for a long time I've suspected my beautiful wife has been commiting adultery on me, so today I came home earlier than usual to catch her in the act. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was not right, but all my searching proved fruitless and didn't reveal where this other guy could possibly have been hiding. After a while, I went outside to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really angry, so I started attacking him and stuff, and you wouldn't think it but he just wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a large hammer and starting beating on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for too long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into some soft bushes, stunned but fine. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran inside to the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on top of him, killing him instantly, just like that. But all the stress got to me, and I had an awful heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That sounds like a fairly bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 9, 2003 22:42:35 GMT -5
hehehe...yeah that was a really good one....good stuff... ..i'll try to get other jokes
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Post by Sektor on Oct 9, 2003 22:43:22 GMT -5
this is joke....sorta..just read: My First Time The sky was dark The moon was high All alone Just her and I Her hair so soft Her eyes so blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best To place my hand On her breasts I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart And when she did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came At last it's finished It's all over now My first time Milking a cow! hehehe! You sicko.....wat u think? Lol, that was great . I dont know if cows have blonde hair and blue eyes but hey, its good since you made it yourself. Post up pictures!
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 9, 2003 22:46:11 GMT -5
*panic, panic*....yeah..thats it i made it up...lmao...actually i took that off my friend ....and i have to find a good lookin pic first then scan
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Post by Sektor on Oct 9, 2003 22:47:40 GMT -5
I'll post my picture eventually. I just need to figure out how to upload my pics from the cam
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 9, 2003 22:53:37 GMT -5
oh well at least we got to see ur wild spikes...lol.....i have light brown hair with yellow highlights...but they dont show in the pic ....oh well
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Post by SNK! on Oct 10, 2003 17:04:44 GMT -5
Woooooooooowwwww If you combine those two names you get... ETNA! That's crazy.
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Post by Gustave on Oct 10, 2003 21:03:52 GMT -5
Woooooooooowwwww If you combine those two names you get... ETNA! That's crazy. ETNA. Wow. I think i may be missing something. That's either the craziest old people name i've ever heard or i'm seriously missing a joke here.
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Post by Dark on Oct 10, 2003 22:58:58 GMT -5
[glow=ruby,2,300]*joins the conversation all of a sudden* Hahaha, hee, haha. woo...what are we laughing about? Anyway I cant think of any good jokes lately but Ill get a really good one tomorrow I promise. *hides pic behind my back* uhh....that's nothing... [/glow]
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Post by TreasureFinder on Oct 10, 2003 23:34:57 GMT -5
[glow=ruby,2,300]*joins the conversation all of a sudden* Hahaha, hee, haha. woo...what are we laughing about? Anyway I cant think of any good jokes lately but Ill get a really good one tomorrow I promise. *hides pic behind my back* uhh....that's nothing... [/glow] *coughspamcough* So anyways, since this is turning into a joke thread: (You may have already heard this one, but it's still funny) Three men were in the desert, lost and hopeless. One was smart, the other of normal intelligence, and the was just plain dumb. They came across a magic lamp, and they rubbed it. An all-powerful genie came out and said, "I can grant each of you one wish!" The smart man wished that he was home with his family, and not lost. POOF (nice sound effect hunh?) he was gone. The second man thought, and finally asked for a glass of lemonade. POOF, the coldest, sweetest glass of lemonade appeared in his hand. The third man thought and thought, and finally said he wanted a car door. POOF, a car door appeared in the sand next to him. The second man asked, "Why did you wish for a car door?" The third man replied, "So when it gets really hot, I can roll down the window!".................well, I thought it was funny... What did Annie Sullivan do to teach Helen Keller a lesson? Rearange the furniture!
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Post by Dark on Oct 10, 2003 23:41:21 GMT -5
[glow=ruby,2,300]Gimme a break, Im tired.....
I guess that's an okay joke....not bad.
[/glow]
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