Southern Slangs

[Creed]

i found this on another forum i go to occasionally. now personally i don't mean anything racist or something like that by posting this, but i felt i just had to pass it on. don't take this seriously, like all jokes it just means to poke fun at others. okay, here it is:

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over "Ebonics," has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI -- noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."

BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

FAT -- noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.

ARE -- pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.

RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."

DID -- adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE -- a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert."

SEED -- verb, past tense.

VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

HEAVY DEW -- phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."

[Jaggy]

HAHAHAHAHA
That's great. Them southerners sure are funnnnnnie LOLOLO!!!!!!1111111 roffle roffle!!!!!11111one1111

[Kamon]

meh i dont find that funny at all. Not that im from the south or offended or anything but IMO its just stupid.

[mech]

alot of my relatives are southern, so alot of these I hear alot, and said in that southern way. nothing new :/

[TreasureFinder]

Yeah, well Southerners don't say sodie pop...so there....Now, I live in West Texas, (and when I say West, I mean so far West I'm half a mile away from Mexico) and I did live in Florida. I actually did hear some of that...sometimes...but the only people who say that are the really, really, "po' white trash" that the red necks make fun of.

[Sektor]

Lol yang, where do you keep getting this stuff? I remember in 7th grade I got a sheet of different words in australian. Lemonade means 7-up, A-1 Flash Shiela means super hot chick, Banana Bender means a pacific islander, and Yankee of course means American

[Gustave]

Yang...another name revealed. I'm making a list...heeheehee
Yea, im gonna go with TF. We say soda, so we win. We have a cooler accent than anyone!!! Except maybe the brits...hehe they're so funny.

[Creed]

to sektor: as mentioned before ez, i found this at another forum that i go to. and yeah, i remember that list of austrailian words. i think it was like back in english or something, and we had to write a paper using the list. i think in australia, "A-1" kinda means like "super" or "great". like A-1 flash sheila, as mentioned by ez, means super hot chick, while flash sheila just means hot chick. them aussies...

to gustave: btw, yang is my last name. first name is joe. nice to meet you.

to gustave again: you better not be plotting to kill me or something, because i'm on to you ;D