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Post by Sektor on Oct 13, 2003 16:15:09 GMT -5
Okay, I got one, but youy may have already heard it. Bear and Turtle were in the woods one day, and they came upon a magic lamp. They rubbed it and a genie popped out. He said he'd grant each other three wishes. Now, Bear was a pretty rude and brusque animal, so he told turtle he'd go first. Bear thought, and wished that he was the hottest male bear in the woods. POOF! Now, it was turtle's turn. He wished for a helmet. POOF! Bear scoffed, and said, "What a stupid wish! Turtle, you're a simpleton!" Now, Bear thought and thought, and he wished that he was the only male bear in the entire world, (he had already thought of his next wish). POOF! Turtle then wished for a motor scooter. POOF!"What a dumb wish! Turtle, you're such a narrow minded retard!" Without hesitation, Bear wished that all the female bears were attracted to him. POOF! Turtle took his time putting on his helmet, and slowly got onto his motorbike. Bear told him to hurry it up, because he wanted to know what asanine wish Tutle would ask for next. Just before Turtle took off, he turned and said to Bear, "I wish you were gay." POOF! Lol, I remember that one. It's great. I heard it a bit different (lamp was a mushroom, turtle was a rabbit).
What keeps a blonde busy for hours?:
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Post by Tsukasa on Oct 13, 2003 16:32:10 GMT -5
I just thought this up on the spot... Grades: 90~100:A 80~89:B 70~79:C 65~69:D 64 and below:Blonde
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Mr_Beardsly
Experienced Knight
RPG Race: Archer
Posts: 598
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Post by Mr_Beardsly on Oct 13, 2003 17:25:23 GMT -5
Here in Texas we have aggie jokes instead. I like to distance myself from that hole College rivalry thying tho so: There were two friars who decided to start a flower shop. they bought an empty space in a strip mall. However, there already was a florist there!( ) Anyway, he tried all sorts of things to stop them. He asked them, he bribed them, he threatened them. Finally he hired a big hitman named Hugh to go beat them up. After taking a beating the friars got scared and ran away. Know what the moral is? ONLY HUGH CAN PREVENT FLORIST FRIARS AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL RAFFLED YOUR WAFFLES LOLZ.
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Kraggzz
Experienced Knight
RPG Race: Archer
Posts: 289
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Post by Kraggzz on Oct 13, 2003 18:48:23 GMT -5
who'd be milking a cow in the middle of the night anyhow i think thats just wierd... but funny still here's a joke (i ripped off of the internet): Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?" So the first man replies: "Well, for a long time I've suspected my beautiful wife has been commiting adultery on me, so today I came home earlier than usual to catch her in the act. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was not right, but all my searching proved fruitless and didn't reveal where this other guy could possibly have been hiding. After a while, I went outside to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really angry, so I started attacking him and stuff, and you wouldn't think it but he just wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a large hammer and starting beating on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for too long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into some soft bushes, stunned but fine. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran inside to the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on top of him, killing him instantly, just like that. But all the stress got to me, and I had an awful heart attack and died there on the balcony." "That sounds like a fairly bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in. The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here." Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death. The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story. "Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." Lol, That's exactly what an episode of Seinfeld would be based on:P, It all ties together in the end .
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 13, 2003 21:54:34 GMT -5
What keeps a blonde busy for hours?:
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Scroll Updam u!!.......lol....that was funny i tried it 2 times until i got it ;D
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Post by Sektor on Oct 14, 2003 16:46:03 GMT -5
Lol, fun isnt it? Anyway, didnt you say you were going to show us your picture a while back Darkmaster? On with it! Post up your picture already... Or atleast your hair ;D
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Mr_Beardsly
Experienced Knight
RPG Race: Archer
Posts: 598
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Post by Mr_Beardsly on Oct 14, 2003 20:24:46 GMT -5
Show us the one of you in the Fedora... I like Fedoras.
You have a Fedora right?
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Post by fallenangel55 on Oct 14, 2003 22:37:52 GMT -5
;D u like fedoras?....lol...who r u saying that too thou?..DM125.... ..if so i'd like to see him with a fedora...mwhahaha....*pokes him*
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Post by Dark on Oct 15, 2003 16:53:59 GMT -5
[glow=ruby,2,300] No one messes wit da fro biatch!! ;D I just graduated!!! ;D If you look closely you can spot my nerdy sis in the background...hehehe
Someone in audience: I thought you were 16? How can you be graduating so early?
Me: *Shut up*
Real pic by the end of october. Each sold separately.[/glow]
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Vapour
Master Swordsman
RPG Race: Warrior
Posts: 774
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Post by Vapour on Oct 15, 2003 19:31:12 GMT -5
[glow=navy,2,300]Do you guys want to hear some more blond jokes? Yes? No? Well, too bad, because here some are:
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings!
What's the difference between the Atlantic Coast and a blonde? The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs!! Why don't Blondes make good cattle ranchers? They can't keep their calves together!
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions!
What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown? Artificial intelligence.
What happened when the blonde went to the movie theater? She saw the Under 17 not admitted sign, so she went home and got 16 friends.
*Courtesy of Jokes.com [/glow]
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c.e.c.i.l
Master Swordsman
RPG Race: Archer
Posts: 857
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Post by c.e.c.i.l on Oct 15, 2003 20:01:27 GMT -5
Blonde jokes...bwahahah. Heres one:
Why do blondes have square boobs?
They forgot to take them outta the box!!!
Hahah, i have to remember my other ones...
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Post by Ghosty on Oct 15, 2003 20:31:19 GMT -5
One of the best jokes EVER!! this is in a lot of places in the internet: A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, "Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line. "OK. Now what??"
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Post by Springheel Jack on Oct 15, 2003 20:52:47 GMT -5
One of the best jokes EVER!! this is in a lot of places in the internet: A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, "Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line. "OK. Now what??" LMAO! I love these, I'll try one.
There are these blondes in this bar, and they all have drinks and there all going "Yeah, 51 days! Woo, only 51 days! 51 days!" More blondes kept coming and joining them, until finally the bartender came up and asked them why they were all shouting this out. One of them held up a childrens puzzle and said "The box of this puzzle says 6-8 years, but all of us did it in only 51 days! Yeah!"
Or:
THere is this blonde driving down the side of the road, and she turns on the radio. She hears this guy telling these crappy dumb blonde jokes, and he's, like, really getting on em, he's really dissing them. She's disgusted and turns it off, and then she looks out the window and see's a wheat field, and there is a blonde trying to row a canoe out in the middle of the field. She pulls over and stands at the edge of the field and shouts, "You stupid moron! It's stupid blondes like you who give the rest of us a bad name, and if I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!"
Or what about:
There is a ventrilaquist up on stage, one of those guys with a dummy on his knee, and he's making everyone laugh, and it's all fun and games, until he starts telling some blonde jokes. Halfway through one of the jokes, a blonde stands up in the middle of the seats and starts shouting at him. "You know, it's ignorant fools like you who make my life miserable! I can't get any respect in my community, I can't get a good job, and all 3 of my husbands dumped me within a month! I hate people like you, just shut up and stop telling those untruthful lies!" Quite taken aback, the man begins to apologize, he's all like "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean anyth-" And the blonde cut him off. "You stay out of this, I'm talking about that bastard on your knee!"
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Post by Sektor on Oct 15, 2003 21:17:34 GMT -5
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Mohrg
Rookie Soldier
RPG Race: Clown
Posts: 87
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Post by Mohrg on Oct 16, 2003 7:02:56 GMT -5
You ask, you got it! Yes I have an infatuation with clowns!
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